I Tried Writing for You (Poem #19)

I forced myself to write about you tonight
I positioned the pen to bleed just right
I wanted to write something I could be proud of
something I could dare hand you
instead of the ussual phrases
that I used to bleed
where I simply put my heart in my hand
and create pieces that only I could understand

I took a deep breath
started to write about that perfect night
but then crumpled the piece
and started all over again
when I realized
how it was perfect to me
and to you, too ordinary

the night was nearly gone
my pen barely moved
the page remained blank
the clean remained unstained

that’s when I knew
that if I could give something to you,
that would only be myself
instead of pieces of poetry you wouldn’t appreciate

and unlike the things I usually make,
I hope you don’t leave me on the shelf