101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Wiest – Notes, Quotes and Highlights (Part 3)

It is wiser to tip the scales over rather than balance things you don’t like only because you believe balance will make you “happy.” It is wiser to spend a life chasing knowledge, or the ability to think clearly and with more dimension, that it is to just chase what “feels good.” As Cheryl Strayed says, “Real change happens on the level of the gesture. It’s one person doing one thing differently than they did before.”

You will need to figure out how to live in the moment, even if that seems boring, impossible, terrifying, or all three.

It’s not about checking off a -point task list; It’s about knowing that you accomplished something (anything!) that contributes to your well-being each day.

Feeling uncomfortable is the signal that you’re on the precipice of something new and better, but you must take action. Any idiot can enjoy the positive things in their lives, but it is only a few that can take the negative and find something even more profound.

The difference between the kind of people who turn their obstacles in the opportunities and the kind of people who are crushed beneath the weight of their own uncertainty is knowledge and awareness.

There are mysteries and experiences and fascinatingly foreign parts of life that we won’t see until we take a step out on the wild side, the side of us that isn’t concerned about tomorrow.

We get up to complain about not having the lives we dream of and carry on, day after day, rinse and repeat. Bad feelings should not always be interpreted as deterrents. They are also indicators that you are doing something frightening and worthwhile. You think “problems” are roadblocks to achieving what you want, when in reality they are pathways. It pushes you from your comfort zone, that’s all.

So many people get caught up in allowing the past to define them or haunt them simply because they have not evolved to the place of seeing how the past did not prevent them from achieving the life they want, it facilitated it.

Fear means you’re trying to move toward something you love, but your old beliefs, or unhealed experiences, are getting in the way. While listening to others speak, (Socially Intelligent People) focus on what is being said, not how they are going to respond.

Real emotional maturity is how thoroughly you let yourself feel anything. Everything. Whatever comes. It is simply knowing that the worst thing that could ever happen is just a feeling at the end of the day. Some of the happiest and best-adjusted people are the ones who can make any situation an ideal, who are too immersed in the moment to intricately plan and decidedly commit to any one specific outcome.

The path to a greater life is not “suffering until you achieve something,” but letting bits and pieces of joy and gratitude and meaning and purpose gradually build, bit by bit. Some of the most notable and peaceful individuals to grace the Earth died with only a few cents to their name.

The thing is that nothing has to be an essential part of you unless you decide it is – east of all anxiety and fear.

We want to be authors but have no desire to develop the discipline it takes to sit down and write for four hours a day for years on end. IF you wait on the feeling of “readiness,: you’ll be waiting forever, and worse, you’ll miss the best of what’s in front of you.

We begin to subconsciously adopt the collective mindset of the group of people we hang out with most. Make a list of the things you worry about most, imagine the worst outcome, then make a plan for exactly how you would deal with it if that came to pass. You can, for example, control how much effort you put into your work. You cannot control how other people respond to it. Try to remember a random day in your life – notice how your focus immediately turns toward what you had to be grateful for. When you ask other people for advice on whatever you’re worrying about, first ask yourself what you hope they’ll say. That’s what you want to tell yourself.

Show yourself that you don’t know what you don’t know about your life or yourself. Not completely. Not yet. Choose to build your life from a place of gratitude and vision, rather than running from your own fears.

Re-write your “success” narrative. Sometimes it’s just getting through the day or the month. Lower your expectations.

Create a routine you love, one that involves enough sleep and down time, and a realistic degree of “stuff you know you should do” v. “stuff you actually want to do.” Make plans to build the life you want, not because you hate the one you have, but because you’re in love with the person you know you want to become. Redefine happiness as something you feel when you have something meaningful to work toward each day. Let what you dislike about your present be a guiding light toward what you want to love about your future.

Nobody is thinking about you the way you are thinking about you. They’re all thinking about themselves.

Recognize that when you’re lost, you’re also free. When you have to start over, you get the pick better.

Have everything you ould ever want or need, yet your unhappiness simply comes from a lack of appreciation You’d rather remain moderately uncomfortable than deal with the uncertainty that is making a a real change in your life. If you go living as though love is something that is always required of you, you will find it in everything. It’s not about having as little as possible, it’s about having onlythe things that serve purpose or hold meaning

You’re always imagining what you want to do, yet never really doing it. You’ve convinced yourself that life begins when all the pieces are in place, but in reality, life is the act of doing just that. When you go in choosing what you want each day of you r life to consist of – how much paperwork, how much time at the computer, how many hours of leisure, you’re able to actually build the existence you want from the ground up. There is nothing more sobering, nor scary, nor a faster way to cut the negative bullshit thant o remember that you do not have forever.

The ways you can count you were a better person than before. The ways you can count you’d like to be better in the future. IF there is on thing that will give you the most mental-emotional relief it is in letting good enough to be good enough. The solution to most of your problems would just be to make some small change but you absolutely refuse to. Actively focusing on what you’re fortunate, grateful, and proud to have. What you seek, you ultimately find A quick cheat sheet for you: The heart will tell you what; the mind will tell you how. Let them stay in their corners of expertise. It is noble and humbling to tell someone that they matter to you, regardless of whether or not you matter to them. When overworking is our identity, we lose track of who we actually are, and in the process, we stop living actual lives. “You’re going to be okay. Not because I said so, but because ‘okay’ is where we all end up, even if we fuck up entirely along the way.” – Cheryl Strayed I hope you spend your free afternoons working on the skills you need to have the job you want someday.

If you know, at your core, that you must start over, it’s not a matter of whether or not you will – it’s whether you’ll do it later, or whether you’ll do it now. The pople who love what they do are always, alwas more successful than the people who “work hard” or claim to. You are bound by nothing but your own fear, so you will not find freedom anywhere but within yourself. I somehow knew when it was time to break my own heart for the sake of something greater, even though I didn’t know what greater thing was at the time. As hard as it may be to grasp, all things are good, because all things serve us in the way of growth and development.

If you’re looking for a reason not to, you’ll always find a reason not to. If you’re looking for a way how, you’ll always find a way how. If you must walk out of something, learn to do so gracefully, so the door won’t be locked if you need to walk back in.

There were at the right place at the right time because they were consistently putting themselves out there.

The life you want is within the simplicity of your everyday tasks. You can’t only focus on writing the synopsis and then wonder why you don’t have a book yet.

Do not let other people’s demons decided what your happiness is. Do not let other’s people fear of them make you afraid too

When you start considering things not as obligations, but as opportunities, you start taking advantage of them rather than trying to avoid them Even the hardest things somehow dissipate with time, ease with understanding, release with awareness When there’s not enough to make a mess, no more than you can clean and wash and handle, everything feels settled I hope you never reach a point in which you look back on your younger self and think, “Wow. I had it all figured out!” That means you stopped growing.

Try to put a face to that worry every time one crops up and you’ll find that the faceless crowd of people is really just one or two who are very, very familiar to you.

Everybody else is running around worrying about themselves as much as you are worrying about yourself. If you didn’t care to please someone else, if you didn’t feel you needed to be okay with them to be okay, you wouldn’t be worried about it. Everything – even the hardest things to get over – can be good, if we choose to see why they’re present, what they need to show us. Because it’s not really about feeling love for yourself, it’s being able to feel stable enough that you mindset doesn’t rest in the narrative of a supposed other’s. The most important thing is that you do what makes you happy and that you understand that your happiness is your choice and your responsibility alone. IT is no a day or a job or a relationship or a change away, it’s right now.

You won’t be there to hear the stories and eulogies they tell of you – you’re only here to know them now.

Love is sharing what we already have, not relying on someone else to give us something to supplement.

We’ll never not care and we’ll never not hear them. It’s only a matter of whether or not we’ll act based on them. You eventually have to stop basing your self-wroth on the insecurities of others and start basing it on your own genuine convitions, no matter how long it takes for you to find them.

The human brain is wired to affirm itself; we are programmed to find evidence that supports what we most want to believe.

Your happiness actually depends on the thousands of large and small choices you make in your life

People will judge you as much as they want, but ther judgement will be theirs to reconcile, not yours

To love yourself means to be okay with not being totally okay with some parts of you all the time

The tiny acts of kindness and courage that we perform daily, because at the end, that may be our only purpose here

What’s your favorite line so far?

Click here to get a copy of the book. 

Published by

Forever Winter

Just reading and writing my way out of this messy adult life! I have transitioned from having piles of notebooks stacked underneath my bed from writing on the internet and allowing people worldwide to read.

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