This Is Jane (Poem #103)

I tore the sheet
in my hand
got on my feet
and started to run

Where am I going
what am I doing
truly, I do not understand

I guess I am in need of a drink
another glass
another bottle
to help me think

I devoured the liquor
as I wept on the floor
waiting for the truth to sink in

Months and months
of senseless fights
made worthy by years
of intimate nights

I could not believe
he threw all those away
all because of a woman
on his bed, willingly lay

I could run out of words to curse
for the girl who caused my misery
it really didn’t matter
that I loved him first
because looking at right now
to whom should you feel sorry?
Obviously, me.

Never have I met someone
as brave as him
to cheat for nearly a year
and explain everything
in a piece of paper

Off he went with the comfort
of having a new found friend
but as alone as I am now
I am clinging to the idea
that somehow,
every once in a while
I will be haunting his unfaithful mind

But I guess before he left
he thought about the possibilities
of what I am about to do next
because as guilty as he is
he’s probably expecting my revenge

He need not wait too long
because it is surely coming

Contrary to what he expected,
my revenge won’t be served
the way he imagined it

I haven’t softened yet
but I still would not throw a fit
Why would I track him down
knowing that she’ll also be around?
Why would I have him assassinated?
Such shortened agony
is not enough punishment

This is what I’ll do
I’d leave him alone
try real hard to forget him in a year or two
after which I would wait
for things between them to complicate

I have loved him before
in my entire life I’ve never seen him sure
between them, it is not love alone that will occur
intimacy would be the cure
but the endless fights will be a bore

And so I’d wait
until he’s devoured by his guilt
until their love would wilt

I’d stand by the corner
and watch him suffer
because soon he’ll see
what he did to me
when she’d leave for another
just like how he left me for her.
❤️

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Forever Winter

Just reading and writing my way out of this messy adult life! I have transitioned from having piles of notebooks stacked underneath my bed from writing on the internet and allowing people worldwide to read.

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