Act Like a Prize and You’ll Turn Him into a Believer
Anything a person chases in life runs away.
He’ll instantly perceive you as a Duracell battery, as in, “Just how far will she go? How much can I get out of her?”
Overcompensating or being too eager to please will lessen a man’s respect;
A bitch is more selective about her availability. She’s available sometimes; other times she’s not.
If he’s unwilling to lift a finger during the courtship, he is showing you right up front that he has nothing to offer you in the future.
“Who I am is enough. Take it or leave it.”
He brings up the ex; she looks at her watch.
If you don’t hear from him for a little longer than usual, show him that you have absolutely no “attitude” about it.
She acted like a prize, and then a funny thing happened. He completely forgot who he was looking at.
The first date is about looks. When he falls in love, it’s about your attitude.
When you show your shape, but don’t expose every inch, the “unwrapping of the gift” becomes much more stimulating.
It’s what you don’t show that keeps him intrigued.
A bitch doesn’t rely on these things to feel good about herself. She relies on who she is as a woman.
He accepts a doormat. But he desires his dreamgirl.
It’s the one toy he will always remember because he had to earn it.
When you lose your edge, the relationship loses its fire.
She loves herself, the bitch doesn’t want anyone who doesn’t want her.
Not only isn’t the bitch needy of him, she often isn’t focused on him.
Ignore him and he is intrigued. Make him the center of attention all the time and he runs.
The bitch shows that she’s not afraid to be without him.
To give a man too much reassurance too soon is the same as overwatering a plant. It kills it.
She smiles and she is feminine. She just doesn’t make decisions based on the fear of losing a man.
Because she is not needy, he starts to need her. Because she isn’t dependent on him, he begins to depend on her.
The person who is least dependent on the outcome of the relationship will automatically draw the other person in.
She maintains her independence.
She doesn’t pursue him.
The moon and the sun and the stars don’t revolve around him.
She doesn’t chase him or keep tabs on him. He is not the center of the world.
She is mysterious.
Familiarity breeds contempt and predictability breeds boredom.
She leaves him wanting.
Men equate longing with love. Longing is good.
She doesn’t let him see her sweat.
Avoids communicating when upset.
When she clears her head, she is succinct and speaks in a “bottom line” way.
She remains in control of her time.
She maintains a sense of humor.
She places a high value on herself.
She doesn’t ask what the ex looked like and doesn’t compete with other women.
She is passionate about something other than him.
Staying busy ensures she isn’t resentful if he is unavailable.
She treats her body like a finely tuned machine.
It’s to give him the thrill of the chase by taking it slowly and letting him be a man.
Since he never quite has her, he never stops pursuing her.
The bitch isn’t so easily upset, so she isn’t so easy to read.
The bitch is in her own thoughts. She doesn’t panic, which makes him come her way.
The bitch waits a half-hour and then makes other plans.
The nice girl abandons all sense of balance and immediately makes the man the whole pie. But with a bitch, he is just a piece of it. She keeps the other pieces intact.
If she’s painting her toenails when he calls, she’ll still say, “Thank you so much, but I’m a little busy right now.”
The bitch is very nice. She is as sweet as a Georgia peach. But inside every sweet peach is a strong pit. And this means she won’t explain the obvious when a man is disrespectful.
He says he’d like to see you at 9:00 p.m., and you don’t want to be out too late? Tell him, “I’d prefer to get together earlier.” If he can’t because he is working late, make no issue of it. Simply suggest getting together another night.
Unconditional love is a beautiful thing. Just be sure to give it after your conditions have been met.
UNPREDICTABLE + NOT MONOTONOUS + HO = FIREWORKS
Constant mothering will eventually turn a man off.
Do not expect him (without asking first) to spend all his free time with you.
Do not ask him to account for the time that he isn’t with you.
Do not be overly doting, leaving him no room to come your way.
Asking a man to explain himself or check in with you is mothering.
The very second he thinks he has to explain himself to you, he’ll feel as though he is losing his freedom.
Don’t make him feel as though he has to ask permission for the day-to-day things he wants to do.
Don’t give him the feeling he’s under a microscope.
Don’t look in his car’s glove compartment as though there’s something suspicious in there. Don’t appear to eavesdrop on his phone conversations.
Don’t ask him to spend all his time with you, and don’t say, “I miss you” when he hasn’t seen you in two hours. If you do these things, you are subtly doing the chasing.
Don’t plan all of your weekends together so he has to ask permission to go fishing. Let him catch a couple of fish. Otherwise, he’ll start to break dates.
When you treat your time together as something he has to do, you’ve taken something that was a pleasure and made it a chore.
When it’s not an obligation to see you, the very same thing will feel like pleasure.
Whenever a woman requires too many things from a man, he’ll resent it. Let him give what he wants to give freely; then observe who he is.
If you always make him feel he has plenty of space to do his own thing, he’ll always feel that lust.
He’ll perceive you as a privilege rather than an obligation, and he’ll come your way.
As long as you appear interested in him, he’ll keep coming your way.
By not appearing to want commitment, you throw a monkey wrench in the lock-down program. He no longer knows what to expect.
If you don’t make him feel locked down, he’ll come your way.
When he’s in madly in love, you won’t need to say things like “Where are you going?” or “What are you doing?” He’ll tell you everything you ever wanted to know because he wants to, not because you had to ask.
If and when he does go out with the boys, he won’t be able to wait to get home to you.
A man wants a woman who has a mind of her own. An opinion.
When he gives you a “little crap,” you can give him a “little crap” right back. He respects a woman who can “trade blows” with him and hold her own.
Don’t give the impression you are spineless.
It becomes a burden if you lean on him too much.
You chose to be with him. You didn’t need to be.
As a person, you feel you are complete with him or without him.
She appeals to his imagination, sexually. Second, she waits a little while before consummating the relationship, sexually.
The woman who isn’t trying is sexier. And that’s the girl you’ll take seriously.”
She shows one physical attribute.
It ensures that the man develops a habit of putting forth effort so that you are treated the way you want to be treated.
Not having sex right away is about playing your cards right so that small things matter.
When you make him wait, he begins to notice that you are “different.”
We know we want to get it, but we know we want the girl to make us wait.
The bitch understands that the sex only becomes “golden” when he doesn’t get it right away.
The bitch believes that she has much more to offer than just her sexuality.
She is plenty sexy, which is precisely why she doesn’t throw it out there as if it’s all she has.
Hold hands or put your head on his shoulder so he feels manly. Rub his leg lightly while you are at the movies.
“Honey, I’m not one of the guys. Please don’t tell me about other women you’ve been with.”
Any time a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself.
Exude the attitude that you are confident and that you aren’t concerned with whether you measure up or whether another woman can steal him away.
“If any woman can steal a guy away from me, then she can have him because I wouldn’t want him anymore.”
If you don’t trust him, stop seeing him.
But until he gives you a reason not to trust him, behave as though you trust him.
As if you are saying with your actions, “Well, of course, you want to be with me!”
Until he gives you a reason not to trust him, trust him.
A man needs to feel “manly.”
Let him be right. You be smart.
When you act too much like Tarzan, he feels too much like Jane.
There is a very big difference between catering to his ego and appearing needy.
Show that you need and appreciate his masculinity.
Don’t complain, “Well, you used to bring me flowers.” From this point forward, every bouquet he gives you is the “prettiest you have ever seen.” Don’t complain that he doesn’t take you out enough. Instead, every restaurant he takes you to is “unbelievable” or “amazing.”
A man’s favorite word? “Best.”
When he hands over that paycheck, thank him for working so hard for “the benefit of everyone in the family.”
When he behaves like a man and he treats you well, pay a little “homage” to that ego.
Men have big egos and they need to have them stroked. This is what the “dumb fox” does.
Ask him to open a jar that you can’t open (even if you can) or unzip your dress (even if you can reach it). Or, you can ask him to lift a small box for you.
Praise is important. When he takes you out to eat, say thank-you once at dinner, and again when you say good night.
The nice girl often makes the mistake of saying thank-you over and over.
If he asks you to split the check on the first few dates, don’t see him again. It has less to do with a few dollars than with the fact that he’s not very concerned with impressing you. And that’s never a good sign.
He’ll let a woman who becomes his doormat pay for dinner on the first couple of dates, but he wouldn’t think of it with his dreamgirl.
The important thing is that when he pays, let him know at the end of the dinner you really do appreciate it.
The dumb fox knows that the less she criticizes, the better.
She doesn’t nag. Instead, she maneuvers.
Agree with everything. Explain nothing. Then do what is best for you. It will make life a whole lot easier.
A smart eagle does not show her claws.
Remember, it’s always his idea. Even if it isn’t, convince him that it is.
He needs to show that he’s the chief.
Don’t correct him or try to “show him up” in front of your mutual friends because he’ll feel emasculated.
Show, you don’t need to tip your hand or flaunt it. If he is treating you like you are his dreamgirl, you have all the power you need.
Men control the world, but women control the men.
Most men know it’s a turn-on to a woman if they do romantic things, but women don’t understand that giving men the feeling of power has the same effect.
If you give him a feeling of power, he’ll want to protect you and he’ll want to give you the world.
“Beware of the man who praises women’s liberation. He’s about to quit his job.”
Women who are successful in other areas of life are often the ones who find themselves saying, “I should not have to apologize for being strong.” Then the following week they wonder why they “can’t find a good man.”
Don’t allow anyone to walk all over you.
When a woman acts as though she’s capable of everything, she gets stuck doing everything.
It makes him happy to feel he’s meeting your needs. And it makes him feel as if he’s “driving that train.” Even though you really are.
The hardest lesson for the nice girl to learn is how to receive. Let him give to you, because part of his manhood is defined by feeling “responsible.”
She’s prepared to walk away, if the terms aren’t favorable to her.
If the offer sounds good, she says, “I’d love to.” If the offer doesn’t sound good, she answers, “I’d love to, but I’m pooped.”
The dumb fox doesn’t spell things out. The nice girl, on the other hand, makes the mistake of wearing her heart on her sleeve almost all the time.
I’d rather get into a ring with Mike Tyson for six rounds than hear a woman repeat herself over and over.”
Don’t let conversations on the phone last too long. Don’t let yourself be perceived as a tiresome obligation.
Keep the phone calls short and sweet—and he’ll never get tired of calling.
When you are secure with yourself, he doesn’t feel he has a 100 percent hold on you.
When he doesn’t have a 100 percent hold on you, he eats out of your hand.
Eliminate the following words from your vocabulary:We need to talk.
A bitch tells it like it is in a matter-of-fact way and gets her point across succinctly. The nice girl wears her heart on her sleeve and pours out her guts.
Familiarity breeds contempt
The dumb fox does not ask, “May we change the subject?” Permission isn’t necessary.
The dumb fox also doesn’t tell him about her past relationships. You’re “a prize,” and you don’t have a long list of calamities to report.
If he’s classy, he won’t be impressed that your last boyfriend is “still stalking you and can’t let go.”
The dumb fox relies on a “vague generality” when he asks for information that’s none of his business.
Don’t volunteer bad information about yourself.
You are relaxed, secure, and happy with him or without him.
When you are always HAPPY; And he is always free to GO; He feels LUCKY.
The nice girl believes everything she’s told because it sounds good, which puts her out there to get hurt.
The dumb fox doesn’t reveal what she observes is that he’ll show his true colors much more quickly when he doesn’t realize he is being watched.
The fox keeps the conversation light. Why? The truest things are said in jest.
When the dumb fox senses something’s “just not right” with a man’s character, she does not bring it to his attention.
“You’ve got to know when to keep your mouth shut.”
The dumb fox takes better care of herself and makes better choices because she lets time elapse and she watches to see how the man behaves.
The bitch does not stop moving to her own rhythm.
If you allow your rhythm to be interrupted, you’ll create a void. Then, to replace what you give up, you’ll start to expect and need more from your partner.
Most women are starving to receive something from a man that they need to give to themselves.
He wants to be around her more, not less, and he respects her because she appears to have “a life.”
A woman looks more secure in a man’s eyes when he can’t pull her away from her life, because she is content with her life.
When you love life with him or without him, that is when he will accept and value you for who you are.
A man loses respect for a woman who needs his approval, particularly when she will overcompensate to get it.
Even if he’s an incredible guy and you feel great temptation, don’t give him all of your time.
Force yourself to keep the routine you had before you met him.
When a man treats a woman with disrespect and she takes it, he begins to lose respect for her.
The minute a man feels you’re trying too hard, the challenge is over.
Once you accidentally step into that arena, you have to win him back by showing him that you won’t wait. You have a life. You have other priorities, some of which come before him.
Don’t pout or whimper when he doesn’t call. You have to make him wonder every now and then about what you’re doing when you’re not with him.
When you regulate the timing, it keeps him wanting and it charges up his batteries.
Don’t accompany him when he goes out with his friends. You don’t want to be one of the “boys.”
If he calls you and asks you to come over late at night after he’s been out with his friends, don’t happily go skipping over,
Never call more than once in a row, even if his machine cuts you short. Don’t leave long mushy messages. Keep the messages friendly, but short and sweet.
Keep your routine. If he wants to spend more time with you than you can comfortably give, invite him to join you in one of your activities—like
Avoid last-minute dates because you “miss him.”
Move to your own rhythm, and then call back. He has to know you have a life … every day.
Don’t ask for affection. Don’t coax affection out of him. Don’t give affection when he isn’t being affectionate. If he’s ignoring you, don’t try harder.
Does he add to your life as a whole, and do you feel good after he’s been around?
If he’s in a bad mood, make an excuse and then go do your own thing.
Above all, make every concerted effort to stay focused on your life. That’s how you stay sassy in his eyes.
The bitch is not governed by fear of losing a man, because she knows the real price to pay is when she loses herself.
He senses her willingness to exert herself, and relaxes what he gives even more.
Lose the fantasy. And if you feel you are going to resent something after you give it, don’t give it.
“Love thyself first, and your neighbor will be happier living next to you.”
The nice girl gives away too much of herself when pleasing him regularly becomes more important than pleasing herself.
“I’m sorry. I’m going to be busy.” And he said, “What do you mean busy? Busy what? Sleeping?” She smiled and politely said, “Yes.”
She becomes depleted because she is willing to wait “at bay,” never making plans until she rules out the possibility “beyond a reasonable doubt” that she is seeing a man.
If you don’t hear from him in enough time to suggest he respects your time, there is a simple solution: Don’t give him any.
The relationship may not be right for you if you find yourself jumping through hoops. When something is right, it will feel easier and much more effortless.
Just remember, it isn’t about a man. This is your life … and it’s too precious to waste.
Like the bum on the street with a sign that says Will work for food, your sign now reads Will work for attention.
When you nag at a man, he becomes more reclusive.
He won’t hear a word you say. This is why you should communicate with your actions…rather than your words.
Anything past the second repetition seems like nagging.
Never ask a man to do something more than twice or he’ll feel as though he’s being scolded by Mom.
When you nag, he tunes you out. But when you speak with your actions, he pays attention.
When a man takes a woman for granted, he still looks for reassurance that she is still “right there.”
She has to stay just outside his reach.
No matter how much you scream at him, he knows you aren’t going anywhere.
“She may kick my ass, but she’ll still love me and I can do whatever I want.” And it’s this very security blanket you don’t want him to have.
“Men will get away with what you let them get away with.”
A high-caliber self-respecting guy will be attracted to a woman who won’t let someone walk all over her.
If he takes you for granted and you pull back a little with no explanation, it catches him off-guard and gets his attention bigtime.
Words are not needed to teach a man how to treat you. A little bit of silence or distance will often do the trick.
To stay his lover, you have to keep him on his toes.
What he gets from the nice girl is a protective kind of motherly love that lessens his sexual desire. He doesn’t pursue his mom.
The bitch wins him over by acting as though she could take him or leave him.
He wasn’t the “be all and end all” of your existence.
Nagging rewards him. Not because he enjoys it, but because it reassures him you care.
Nagging = A woman who is predictable = A feeling of obligation = Decreased lust
Indifference = Less predictable response = Renewed interest
When you treat him casually as though he’s a friend, he’ll come your way. Because he wants things to be romantic, but he also wants to be the pursuer.
A little distance combined with the appearance of self-control makes him nervous that he may be losing you.
He second-guesses himself: “Hmm… why is this okay with her when I know it’s wrong?”
When he doesn’t get the nagging but he knows he deserves it, he begins to wonder what’s going on.
See him half as much as he wants to see you.
The second you take away the security of a predictable routine, his orientation changes. Instead of worrying about buying time or making excuses about work, he has to think of something fun to do so you’ll want to be with him.
When your man behaves as though he is more worthy than you, re-create the balance and equality in the relationship by gently taking the “little birdie” and putting him on the ground.
When you nag, you become the problem, and he deals with it by tuning you out. But when you don’t nag, he deals with the problem.
When you’ve asked him to do something a few times and he doesn’t do it, say, “Honey, it’s okay. I don’t need you to do it anymore. Ed, our next-door neighbor, said he’d come over and do it.”
If you take his chores away from him and praise someone else for doing it, he’ll want his chores back.
If you stroke his ego, however, he feels good. He needs to be praised. When he goes out to straighten the mailbox and he comes back inside, say, “Thank you so much, sweetie!”
When you nag, he sees weakness.
When you make him feel like the man? The stud-muffin? The legend? You can ask him to do anything and he’ll jump to do it.
Nagging makes it a right; asking for a favor makes it a positive experience.
Just as a woman wants to be perceived as a “dream girl” to a man, a man wants to be perceived as a “hero” in his woman’s eyes.
“Feelings? What feelings?” Show-rather than tell-him that you aren’t spilling your guts anymore.
Expressing your feelings constantly is like pleading. It comes across as needy rather than dignified. But backing away when he crosses the line? Plenty dignified.
(See? Why argue your case when you can get him to argue it for you?)
If he asks, “Is something wrong?” take a breath and respond calmly. “Yes, something is wrong, but I’d like to talk about it later. I really don’t want to talk about it now.”
It’s with your behavior, not with your words, that you let him know where you stand.
It’s that a lot of times he can’t. So when a woman gives you room to live your life without getting upset, you’ll feel she’s adding much more to your life.”
You want to be with a person who can think before she speaks.”
No guy wants to feel like he’s paying for some other guy’s mistakes.”
“It really makes us happy when a woman lets us go out with the guys and has no attitude about it.
“I think a woman who talks less is more attractive because it makes her more mysterious. It is not a good thing to just ramble on. Communication should be about quality not quantity.
I want a woman who has a sense of purpose in her own life, so she doesn’t waste all her energy trying to control mine.”
No matter how much a woman wants intimacy, she can’t force it out of a man—much
Keeping it short and to the point is essential, otherwise he won’t hear a single word.
When he isn’t meeting your needs, just pull back slightly and don’t explain a thing.
Women chase men by trying to force-feed conversations about feelings. And predictably, they run. In order for the child to run to Mommy, Mommy has to first stop chasing the child.
Do not take it personally if he doesn’t call for a day or two.
Other times men pull back deliberately to see what your reaction will be, because they are curious to see how much you care.
I know some guys that check out a woman who isn’t even that beautiful, just to make his girlfriend a little insecure.”
In the beginning, the only thing you need to pay attention to is whether he keeps coming around, because he’ll only be able to suspend or hide his emotions for so long.
If a woman puts her foot down and walks away? It can crush a guy…”
“Women are in control, because they control the sex. In fact, women have a lot more control than they know. A lot of guys feel like this puts us at a disadvantage.”
“A guy needs to always feel that he’s desirable to his wife or girlfriend. We need that feedback.”
“Men like a woman to be creative so it doesn’t get stale. If she’s too predictable because you talk about the relationship all the time instead of going out and having one, he’ll get bored quickly.”
When I go fishing, I find that I really miss my wife. And that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“A woman should always keep the bathroom door closed when she’s on the toilet.
“When a woman is jealous, it can be a turnoff.
“I don’t like a woman who doesn’t have a life, or a job.
If a guy is under a lot of pressure and she adds to it, he’ll immediately shut down.”
“When he walks in the door after a long day, let him do his own thing for a half-hour.
“A woman shouldn’t let a guy know she is centering her world around him.
“The fear every guy has is that after marriage the girl is going to cut her hair off, gain a bunch of weight, and stop putting out.”
If you’re at a bar and you make an idiot of yourself, it’s a total turnoff.
“Never let a guy know you’re sitting home waiting for his call, or that he’s your whole life.
He also likes knowing other men want you, just as long as you aren’t sleeping with any of them.”
“It’s like punching a clock when you’re with a woman who makes you feel like you have to report back to her. That’s an instant turnoff.”
They are secretly turned on by a bitch, or a woman who will stand up for herself.
“A man respects a woman who won’t tolerate being treated badly.”
I like a woman who mentally challenges me in a fun way by bantering with me, or with her sense of humor. It can be competitive in a playful kind of way.”
Instead of working so hard to please him, work harder to please yourself…because ultimately, this is what will truly please him.
This is why a woman should maintain her independence, her “pink slip,” and full ownership of herself.
He doesn’t have to feel it’s always equal, just reciprocal.
Appearance may pull him in, but it is your independence that will keep him turned on.
“Power is the great aphrodisiac.”
When you act as if you expect something, you make a man feel unappreciated.
Acknowledgment is very important to men.
If a man gives you something, show him the respect he deserves by thanking him for the kindness.
If you want to be treated well, you have to encourage it by making him feel important and special whenever he does something generous and gracious. Otherwise, he won’t have an incentive to do it again.
Many men enjoy feeling like the provider, as long as they feel appreciated for what they give.
She lets a man give—and she allows herself to receive.
Men love to feel that they are “in charge” and that their opinion really counts.
it’s all in showing that you respect what he gives.
Men, like women, don’t want to feel taken for granted.
If he gives you something, act excited—even if it’s ugly.
women who are too nice err on the side of giving too much. They give to a fault.
A bitch is not mean; she just doesn’t volunteer for any “joyrides.”
The bitchier woman would never let a man think that she’s there because she has “nowhere else to go.”
Instead of Asking Him to Focus on You, Focus on Yourself
What turns a man on about an independent woman is that she is independent of him.
The first thing a woman has to do to get that sexy “spark” back is to shift her focus and energy back onto herself.
The more independent you are of him, the more interested he will be.
When you are relaxed, you’ve taken the “need” out of the equation.
No matter what you choose, as long as you are passionate about something other than him, it will draw him back in. Guaranteed.
“How could she want to do that, when she could be with me?”
When you will not drop everything to be with him, you’ll appear as though you have more going for you.
This will remind him of your worth, and invariably, he will begin to come your way.
Forever Winter 